Mornings are better experienced with a full load of caffeine and knowledge that grace has been given to us another day. So to all that have struggled, in every meaning of the word, let’s drink up our coffee to the fact that we’re loved. That there is hope in whatever place we might be at in life. That in our sins, we are offered compassion not judgment.
Dear Twitter, Facebook, and wherever else you might be reading this:
Thank you so much for checking out the band’s new song “La Balada Del Marinero!” It had the most plays in it’s first week than anyother tunes we posted in the past. I can’t be greatful enough to you and for checking us out. God bless each in every one of you!
I’m extremely excited about the possibilites that are before me in life. With the wedding, ministry, and this music project; I’m blessed with all the things I never thought I could have. So again, I have to say thank you to anyone that has been a part of this. If you listened, like, or shared, you mean the world to me. Let me get yo some coffee sometime? :)
Starting a new blog series on whatever was shared on our youth group bible study. Hope that it helps you in someway. A friend mentioned that I should start something like this a few years ago, I just never got around to doing it. So here goes!
Tonight I spoke from Hebrews 11:6. Regarding faith it says:
And Without Faith it is impossible to please God, Because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Two things to consider:
1- Don’t approach God based on what you are, do, or feel. Our faith should never be based on our emotions, situations, or surroundings. Why? because they are always coming and going. “heaven and earth shall pass away but my words will remain..” Depending on the way your feeling is the way you think God is looking at you. If you feel guilty and far away, chances are you think He is far from you. If you feel Joyful and ready to bust into a praise break, You’re likely to feel so close to him you could feel Him near you as you sit and watch sportcenter talking up the latest trades and how awesome Tebow is.
2- Do approach Him by what the scripture above says our faith should be based on, which the fact that He is! (some versions say that He exists) In other words, He is merciful, righteous, holy, faithful, etc. If you can feel Him or not. If you feel Him close or far, I think it’s so awesome that it does’t depend on us. But on the fact that He is an amazing God that remains the same.
Although there were many things that were talked about as a group, that is the main points I feel the most important. Stay tuned for the next one. Feel free to add your own thoughts, comments, concerns, and or complaints.
Safety Pin on My Lip- Why I'll Probably Never Fit In
I stood still as I felt the warm needle touch my bottom lip. My friend grabbed my arm and said “Don’t move or you could start bleeding a lot.” The sweat began to drop down my face and my arm shook nervously. Here I was, 11 years old and wanting to fit in with the punk kids at school, getting my lip pierced with a safety pin in the boys bathroom. A group of kids had crowded around us to see if I would actually go through with it. Don’t worry, the pin was sterilized by the lukewarm water from the sink. I don’t remember much from those 10 minutes, but I do remember staring at my friends black flag shirt and retracing my steps as to how I got in this situation.
The need to fit in followed me everywhere. From my adolescence to the present day. Most people find their clique early on. Others struggle to catch on. Others, like me, never truly feel accepted. It’s a hard thing to admit, but in order for me to move on from that melancholy thought I needed to come to terms with what it was.
I have no reason to complain about life. It’s never dealt me a bad card. I have an amazing family, always surrounded by good people, I’ve had a strong biblical foundation. Nothing about the way I was feeling made sense to me because I’ve had it all. For whatever reason, I just didn’t feel like I belonged. Who was I? What was I meant to do? What is it that everything I do always come out wrong? Why can’t I talk about God like others can?
God had been speaking to me regarding this burden throughout the past couple years through sermons, dreams, and prophecy’s. I must not have been listening very well because it finally came full circle last Sunday while visiting the Rock church with my friend Rick. “the enemy will always try and attack your identity.” It wasn’t even the main point of the sermon. A footnote at best, but there It was. It pierced my heart and the scripture from Jeremiah 1:4-5 immediately came to mind when the Lord spoke and said :
““Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
He formed me the way I’m supposed to be according to his plan and liking. His design is perfect. He didn’t make a mass produced product of identical saints for him to use. He made a diverse group of people and ministries. We should celebrate that fact.
I can’t keep trying to fit a mold that was set by somebody else as to what a child of God is supposed to be like. In my case, I can’t keep trying to fit a mold set by someone else as to how a minister is supposed to be like, how his social media status should read, or who his friends are supposed to look like. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t an “anti-establishment” rant about breaking the norm of what church should be, I’m not that ambitious and the machine is too big to take on. Nor is it about ignoring what scripture says regarding these issues to make myself feel better. This is me reaching out to anyone who has ever struggled with trying to find a place at home, church, school, etc. You’re not alone in this. God made you onto HIS image, not what your friends think is cool or uncool; or to what your church friends think is holy or unholy. You might never wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, or quote every verse in the bible on twitter; But man does God love you! He loves you so much that he gave you the abilities and characteristics to fit the master plan he has for you. We’re not a finished product, sometimes we fail to see that.
My prayer for you is that you keep this in mind whenever you feel down and out about life: He created you, He set you aside for a special purpose, He gave you an Identity. Don’t let anyone or anything take that away from you.
Had a conversation last night with @warriormiriam regarding a lot of current events weighing on our minds. Immigration reform, school, life in general and how humans interact with one another.
Sometimes we find ourselves dying for people’s approval of us. That we are american enough. That we deserve that spot in the graduate program. That we are holy enough. That we deserve someone’s attention or love. It’s a tiring mental process to go through.
This morning I woke up with an email from her. Well, I’ll let her finish this blog for me:
The devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread” (Luke 4:3)
“Then the Pharisees and Sadducees came, and testing Him asked that He would show them a sign from heaven.” (Matthew 16:1).
But He refused to engage in that level. No hizo nada.
and now I’m asking: why do we spend so much time trying to prove to others what we are, or what we deserve because of what we’re capable of doing. Why is it so hard to follow Jesus’ example & not engage in meaningless battles that leave us exhausted & distracted by trying to prove to others what we are/deserve?
… as my boyfriend Carlos would say, Ok…Jesus… got me.”
A few things to mention, for those keeping up with the Son of Man project. First of all, I owe you a HUGE thank you for the wonderful words of encouragement and support that I’ve been getting from you the past couple months. I didn’t anticipate the amount of plays the songs have been getting, let alone the amount of people actually interested in what is happening. So to anyone who has clicked on the links to the soundcloud page, liked us on FB, even those of you who tolerated all my posts on twitter. THANK YOU!
With that said, the EP is/was done. Actually, it should have been up today. But after listening back to a few of the songs, i had one of those “wow… That could have been done better…” or “how did I think that sounded good!?” So I did what any other person would do seeking to put out the very best material they can; I re-recorded them. What started out as just re-recording one turned into re-recording most of the EP. So that’s exactly what ill be finishing up this week. New date for the EP? October 18. For real this time! It will be available through the newly set up bandcamp page.
I will be putting up a demo with a new song for free this week.
Other news, October 22nd we’ll be opening at Soma! No idea how that happened, but I’m just so stoked! So come out and hang. I’ll have Pre-sale tickets for those of you Interested. Let’s party yeah?
It’s that time of the week again. New music tuesday! Here are the lyrics for the new song that I just posted “quiet voices, quiet bodies.” It’s a song about what’s broken in our immigration system but choosing to persevere in-spite of that. Shout out the the underground undergrads.
Disculpe Senora, your request of stay has been denied again but we’ll take your brother out watch him fight the battles he’ll loose faith in for the greater cause of God, country, and the company stock You’re a number on the wall besides 10 years isn’t that very long Start heading out west cash this post-dated check made out to all the orphans The ones with out a home to call their own the one they left behind forgot them long ago If redemption won’t come then sit tight, we’re rebuilding babylon There are bigger demons to fend off than the ones you seem to conjure up
While I’m able I’ll fall in love under the city lights of downtown San Francisco I’ll close my eyes to them I’ll mute out the sirens We’ll pass the time crossing county lines erase the targets on our heads
My lady in grey says that she can’t wait grew tired of holding the flame Met me at the border, she pulled me in closer kissed me goodbye then sent me on my way I’m trying desperately to see the reasons why she couldn’t love me It’s a long drive back to Mexico but her voice won’t seem to let me go
I’ll hold your hand through it We’ll make sense of this mess reciting psalms to string along every stuttered breath a toast to you my friends we’ll drown out all our sins the ones they claim we’ll continue to commit erase the targets on our heads
While I’m able I’ll fall in love under the city lights of downtown San Francisco…
Life has it’s seasons. Somedays we wake up ready to take over the world, other days we’re nailed to our beds looking for any excuse to hate the world. At times, it seems, life’s seasons can have the worst bi-polar fits known to man. Being the human being I am; I can succumb, very easily if I might add, to it’s enticing invitation to ride the teetering waves of emotion and impulsive actions.
Today was one of those days where I wasn’t too sure what was happening. It could have been the long drives, the lack of sleep, or the eating binge that I have exposed my body to in recent weeks (but who’s counting). Nonetheless, my mind was racing with different thoughts in all sorts of directions. I couldn’t for the life of me find the motivation to gather myself and begin my days’ activities.
When coming out to church this evening, I carried that lack of life with me. I thought to myself, “how am I supposed to teach others about the good news when I’m struggling so hard to apply them to myself?” So I did what any other reasonable person would do. I tried to give the responsibility over to someone else. Like Saul hid within the donkey’s to avoid being anointed, so to did I find myself disguising the cowardice that I was beginning to show. Saul didn’t succeed, neither did I.
As I was preparing my notes something had changed. I re-read the scriptures that we were going to be going over. We began with opening prayer. The routine was familiar. All I had to do was, in a sense, continue to run on the fumes I had left and maybe cut it short to about 10-15 mins. No one would notice anyway. But as I began to talk, my weary mind began to connect the dots that I had overlooked when preparing the notes I had jotted down. My tone changed. I started to get excited about what I was talking about. My focus was all about the subject at hand.
What had happened? I had to no drive to even do this study. I had set out to make this the most emotionally detached study that I could possibly give.
After it was over, I was reminded of Jeremiah 20:9
'But if I say, “I will not mention his word or speak his name,” His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.’
I was reminded tonight of where His plan for me is leading. Life has it’s different seasons, it’s different paths, and different stories. But all of mine ultimately lead back to Him. Not because I feel like it has to be that way and I have no control over what is happening. But because above whatever seasons life might decide to go into, my desire is to be with him.
First show is in a couple of days, and I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown. Way too many thought ran across my head that I forgot almost all the lyrics in rehearsal. It’s been so long since I did one of these things, I really don’t know what to expect. I really don’t know why I’m doing it. I don’t know who’s coming. I don’t even know if I’ll even like it.
Mind you, I can count a few friends and family on being there this Thursday. Nothing too crazy. I have no illusions of grandeur. But the fact that I’ll be playing theses songs in front of people is terrifying.
Just to give you an idea as to how long it’s been since I did one of these, Obama’s approval ratings we’re at an all time high, Myspace was on it’s way out, the recession just started, and Justin Beiber had yet to take over the world. Although it may not seem like a long time, considering all that changes that have occurred in my life, it’s been ages.
Very rarely have I put into perspective what it is that I do at church or what it is that it represents. It’s one of those things that I just go about and do. No one told me to do it. I just felt it in my heart. I heard the calling and followed.
Considering those things, I feel almost silly telling people I have a show. Or that my band is putting out a free EP on october 4th (promo semi-intentional haha). It’s so strange to figure out how to reconcile the musician going out playing shows with the dude who happens to be something in church. But maybe I shouldn’t have to? I’ll probably go crazy trying. It could possibly be one of those “it is what it is” things?
To be honest. I really don’t know. There are a lot of things that I’m praying about for understanding, because I’m scared. God’s promised good to me though. That’s the only thing motivating me to keep doing what I’m doing in ministry, in music, and everything else in between.
Here are the lyrics for the the new Son of Man tune “Country Song.” There is an alarming number of people that don’t have access to proper healthcare. This song is only one story of a bigger picture. Hopefully it puts the 49.9 million a bit into prospective. Shout out to anyone whoever had to go through one of those moments. Prayers go out to you.
Country Song I long silence, a long pause there’s an echo in the halls of the people we used to be plastic bottles on your bed were emptied out by painful fits the doc say’s “we’ll shoot till something sticks” but cash flow is weak we can’t afford to keep trying to find a cure the nurse held back her sympathies I heard it then a country song the one I used to know by heart and we hummed along it’s melody
honey, I’m just so afraid nothing is stopping these headaches I’ll swallow another pill to cheapen it’s thrill I just can’t wait to share your last name
at the party down the block there’s an alkie at the bar and the friends pour out another shot a thought she spoke or might have slurred "there’s no ring on my finger, but to me his love he swore..” idly there at your door wondered if you were even home but I turned and left helplessly I heard it then a country song the one I used to know by heart we hummed along it’s melody
honey, I’m just so afraid nothing is stopping my headaches but I won’t swallow another pill they’re cheapening my thrills I just can’t wait to forget your name
honey I’m just so afraid nothing’s stopping my headaches but the state won’t pay no mind to this heartbreak of mine I just can’t wait to drown out your name
No matter how many times you read the bible, go to church, sing in your praise team, hear all the right sermons, feel the spirit, or even know all the right people with the right titles: your not immune to backsliding. We’re human. It’s expected. we’re not perfect.
The chorus references the women that Jesus saw crying for him as he was being led to be crucified. They felt bad for him. They felt secure in the sense that what was happening to him couldn’t possibly reach them. So Jesus tells them not to feel bad for him but for themselves and what the destruction that was going to be brought in the city.
It’s so easy to cast judgements on the struggles of others and their flaws that we over look the fact that we are all on the same boat. No one is exempt of our human nature. whatever that might mean to you.
Are we better than kings?
David was a man after God’s own heart. He wrote a handful of psalms that we recite now. Defeated thousands and thousands of enemies. Yet he yielded to what his hands hungered.
Solomon. There had never been a king as wise as him nor was there ever after him. He built the most cherished temple. Met God face to face. Yet he yielded to what his hands hungered.
better than kings? maybe, maybe not. This song is a just a simple reminder to myself more than anyone that I’m not invincible and than any little slip could lead to something more dire.
When reading through the book of Jeremiah and Isaiah, I was constantly moved at the way that God spoke to his people through the prophets. Sure there was some fare warnings of horrid destruction of things to come, but in all that there was always an invitation. An invitation to turn ones heart from the things that pull you away from him and to mend the broken relationship that sin brings about.
I was very moved at the way he referred to himself as the husband and to the rebellious people as the unfaithful wife. So moved in fact that I began to examine my own relationship with him.
One verse in particular (Jeremiah 2:5) really brought home for me. “what faults did your fathers find in me that they would stray away so far from me?..”
I felt it pierce my heart. I felt Him asking me that question. As if he wasn’t enough that one had to look to other things or people to feel complete.
We’ve all been there.
I wrote this song about God’s unfailing love and patience towards us. Even when we aren’t looking for him for whatever reason; He is waiting for you to come back to him.
"To the love I used to know, will you please just find your way back home"
You think you have everything figured out, feeling somewhat of a know-it-all. We form our own opinions (often erroneously) about people and become convicted to these thoughts. Cling to them even, far too prideful to even consider questioning them, perhaps in fear that they may be completely wrong….
Working on something. Not too sure how it will all end. Im not to sure how to go about it. I’m not to sure on the reception it will receive. I’m not to sure if I’ll even like it. Im not too sure if it will even be worth it.
But I’ve spent too long pondering those thoughts and not actually doing anything.
This is a motivational blog. Get up and do something. It’s a simple as that. I just saved you 20 dollars that you would have spent on a self help book. Your welcome.
This song was written a few years back in wierd moment of my life. (ok in one of my many wierd moments) I hit a moment of self discovery. Not a very good one at that. Nonetheless i began writing about experiences I have had and about the things I was seeing at the time. About the ideal image we have of relationships. How sometimes we try to conjure up this image of what we think it should be and when it doesn’t happen we are met with a huge dissapointment, and that it sometimes leads to a self-destructive pattern in some.
RT… re-blog… uh.. tell your friends if you like. spread the love!
Odd thing waking up on time. I’m early to work. Not rushing to get my cup of coffee. it feels rather stange to be honest. If you ever come to find out anything about me, let it be this: I’m late to EVERYTHING. Starting from middle school up until last friday. Tardiness I’ll go ahead and say is my art. I am the Da Vinci of being late to work and somehow making someone else feel sorry for me in the process.
When browsing through scripture I began to notice somewhat of a pattern of the stories being told from Genesis and on. Everyone from Moses to David not only got up in the morning, but the bible always mentions the word early behind it. Hence forth, there is something biblical about waking up early in the morning. Needless to say I found myself convicted.
Will my days of waking up half an hour before work starts be over? Thats yet to be seen. But there will be a constant effort to start my day off the right way. With my heart set on God, yearning for Him to be the first that I speak to.
Psalm 5:3 In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.
"Maybe its time we move one." There it was. All I could bring to the table was what I had been bringing the past nine months; indecisiveness, insecurity, fear, something meaningless, something fleeting. A simple "maybe." It wasn’t even in a decisive tone, it was more of a question than anything. One of the most , so called, meaningful relationships I had been in and I couldn’t even bring myself to man up to the situation at hand. She cried. I just stood there. She told me to leave. So I eventually did.
You can’t talk someone out of heartbreak. You can’t make excuses for yourself as to why you don’t feel a thing.
Washington street used to have a certain shine about it. It used to call my name. It used to tell me how much it missed me from the last time I was there. The gangsters hanging out in the shady apartments used to seem like old friends that i would run into every so often. The loud ranchera music playing in someones backyard used to bring a feeling of comfort. The cigarette smoke smell used to welcome me to her house. But as I walked back to my car, nothing about it seemed normal anymore. I was a foreigner. Where was I? Who was I? I didn’t know which way to get back home. I didn’t know the street. I didn’t know the people, and it was a terrifying feeling to realize that after all those late nights, they sure as hell didn’t know me.
I sat in the drivers seat gripping the steering wheel as hard as I could trying to get myself to react to what was going on. Turning on the ignition, my lips managed to open and say a prayer. Was I in any position to do so? probably not. But I did. I said I was tired. That’s all. You know how scripture says that the spirit intercedes for us? Well it must have known how incredibly tired I was. I was tired of lying, of running, of chasing useless things, of being alone, of being angry, of being frustrated, and most importantly: of who I’ve been.
I will never fully understand what happened that night. All I know is that I drove home knowing that things were somehow going to change. I didn’t have the strength to make the changes myself, but I knew that somehow they were going to happen. I let go of the steering wheel of my life, it was up to God to take control and save me from crashing into a wall.
What Makes a Man will be blog entries of me trying to make sense of the chain of events that followed. I’m a slow learner. I’m pretty sure there was a lesson I might have missed.